A Few Quick Puns

I apologize for marketing a stillborn blog nearly 2 months ago. Recently, I have been gently encouraged by a family member to update my blog.

So I will do so today with a bit of a lighthearted entry.

Some of these puns will likely produce the "da dum" sound
of a drum--that sound that follows the blank silence after a poor joke. Some of these will possibly produce at least a momentary chuckle. Most of these, hopefully, will at least produce a smile.

I have highlighted the ones that produced the most positive chuckling response in me.

* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium atlarge.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

* A backward poet writes inverse.

* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's yourCount that votes.

* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flatminer.

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

* A plateau is a high form of flattery.

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

* Acupuncture: a jab well done